Deadly Sins

July 18, 2013

I do not drink alcohol. I do not gamble. I do not commit adultery.

I am not a fraud. I am not a thief. I am not a murderer.

Yet my sin is greater than all of them!

Till very recently, I thought that I was judged by Allah, relative to the people around me. That made me feel at ease, thinking that I wasn’t doing too bad. Gradually this feeling turned into a thought that would sometimes cross my mind, that I’m better than so and so,  because that so and so, doesn’t do that duty, and that so and so, commits that sin. Unknowingly, I was committing the master of  all sins. Pride! I was committing the very sin that Iblis (now known as Satan), committed and was doomed for eternity.

Surah Al-Araf
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful

And We created you, then fashioned you, then told the angels: Fall ye prostrate before Adam! And they fell prostrate, all save Iblis, who was not of those who make prostration. (11) He said: What hindered thee that thou didst not fall prostrate when I bade thee? (Iblis) said: I am better than him. Thou createdst me of fire while him Thou didst create of mud. (12) He said: Then go down hence! It is not for thee to show pride here, so go forth! Lo! thou art of those degraded. (13) He said: Reprieve me till the day when they are raised (from the dead). (14) He said: Lo! thou art of those reprieved. (15) He said: Now, because Thou hast sent me astray, verily I shall lurk in ambush for them on Thy Right Path. (16) Then I shall come upon them from before them and from behind them and from their right hands and from their left hands, and Thou wilt not find most of them beholden (unto Thee). (17) He said: Go forth from hence, degraded, banished. As for such of them as follow thee, surely I will fill hell with all of you. (18)

Iblis was once the most pious of his kind. His worship was incomparable to any around him, however, there was a disease that developed in his heart that made him falter. A disease that never shows any symptoms, and suddenly out of nowhere, you have done the worst thing in the sight of Allah. Such a fine line, between right and wrong. Such a fine line!

I do not drink alcohol. I do not gamble. I do not commit adultery.

I am not a fraud. I am not a thief. I am not a murderer.

Yet my sin is greater than all of them!

The aura of my diseased heart is so great that I am blinded by it. All I see are the right things I do and all the wrong things I do not do. All I see are the duties, entrusted upon me by Allah, I follow and all the forbidden things I refrain from. I fail to see the right things I do not do and the wrong things I do. I fail to see the duties I do not follow and the forbidden things I indulge in. This is yet another disease for which Allah has dedicated an entire chapter in the Holy Quran.

Surah Al-Munafiqoon
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful
“When the hypocrites come unto thee (O Muhammad), they say: We bear witness that thou art indeed Allah’s messenger. And Allah knoweth that thou art indeed His messenger, and Allah beareth witness that the Hypocrites indeed are speaking falsely. (1) They make their faith a pretext so that they may turn (men) from the way of Allah. Verily evil is that which they are wont to do, (2) That is because they believed, then disbelieved, therefore their hearts are sealed so that they understand not. (3) And when thou seest them their figures please thee; and if they speak thou givest ear unto their speech. (They are) as though they were blocks of wood in striped cloaks. They deem every shout to be against them. They are the enemy, so beware of them. Allah confound them! How they are perverted! (4) And when it is said unto them: Come! The messenger of Allah will ask forgiveness for you! they avert their faces and thou seest them turning away, disdainful. (5) Whether thou ask forgiveness for them or ask not forgiveness for them; Allah will not forgive them. Lo! Allah guideth not the evil-living folk. (6) They it is who say: Spend not on behalf of those (who dwell) with Allah’s messenger that they may disperse (and go away from you); when Allah’s are the treasures of the heavens and the earth; but the hypocrites comprehend not. (7) They say: Surely, if we return to Al-Madinah the mightier will soon drive out the weaker; when might belongeth to Allah and to His messenger and to the believers; but the hypocrites know not. (8) O ye who believe! Let not your wealth nor your children distract you from remembrance of Allah. Those who do so, they are the losers. (9) And spend of that wherewith We have provided you before death cometh unto one of you and he saith: My Lord! If only thou wouldst reprieve me for a little while, then I would give alms and be among the righteous. (10) But Allah reprieveth no soul when its term cometh, and Allah is Aware of what ye do. (11)”
This disease is the disharmony between the heart and the tongue. Hypocrisy! A blindness that makes me tumble into sin again and again. Since, I fail to consider all the faults in me, I have ample time to look for faults in others. Trying so desperately to correct them, not finding time to correct myself.  Let me explain with the help of an example.
Modesty. I think modesty is a very important aspect of ones life, in order to maintain a respectful status in the sight of Allah.  A simple definition I got when looking it up on the dictionary.reference.com was “having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior, speech, dress, etc.”. So me, in all my blindness, thinking I am the ambassador for modesty, expect and sometimes try to correct people who I think are being immodest. As hard as it is to confess, hesitating that people might consider me an extremist or what some might call sexist, I feel that women should dress modestly. I do not really see any men around, dressing immodestly. Just recently, I was informed of a few verses mentioned in the Holy Quran about how women should dress.

Surah Al-Ahzab

“O Prophet! Tell thy wives and thy daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. (59)”
And
Surah Al-Noor

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands’ fathers, or their sons or their husbands’ sons, or their brothers or their brothers’ sons or sisters’ sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women’s nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed. (31)
Just one verse before the one mentioned above there is a rule of modesty for the men.

Surah Al-Noor

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do. (30)
There is no distinction between which of the rules has precedence over the other. The one for the men is as necessary as that for the women. What a hypocrite I have been. The first question to be asked is, do I lower my gaze? Am I the modest person I expect others, particularly women, to be? They say, be the change you want to see. So what I should do is, stop looking here and there, and get my act together, rather than being the director of other people’s acts. If you come to think of it, if men start lowering their gaze, no matter how women dress, modesty can be maintained. I am not disregarding any of the rules or regulations, mentioned in the Holy Quran. All I am trying to say is that, I have been looking at the world with a completely incorrect perspective, and that, it is time to open my eyes to the correct one.
I was wrong about how I am judged by Allah. I am actually judged by the position of my heart, and currently, I see a rotten, diseased piece of meat. I am nothing! I am nobody! It is only Allah who is the judge! The Supreme Judge! The Ultimate Judge! I have not the vision to look into the heart of anyone, then who am I to say anything about his or her position or status? No one!
Oh Allah! I have been blindfolded by pride, I have been blindfolded by hypocrisy! I have overstepped, and have judged those around me! I have sinned! Forgive me! Oh Allah, forgive me! From today, I shall try, in all my human capacity, not to judge others! I shall only look into my heart, and pick at the germs I culture inside it! Please purify my heart! Please remove the blindfold, that blocks my vision to the true perspective, the perspective You want me to see! Bestow me with the humility that You granted the Prophets and their followers! I beg You to not let me let You down the way Iblis did! I beg You!
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s