December 30, 2012

I want to dream! I want to have a dream! Life seems so meaningless and aimless. Trudging along like cattle with the herd, following the rest. Inside me is a flame, and it tingles in my heart, and makes me what to do more. Do something out of the ordinary. Do something that will matter, make a difference. But what? No inspiration, no valor, no will to get out of my comfort zone and test my strengths. So hopeless, so useless, this is not what I want to be! Yet I am!

Life! It’s so beautiful! So full of chances and opportunities, yet I let them go to waste. Sitting in front of the computer screen, playing pointless games, looking at meaningless posts from people, on social networks. It’s sad how, even after being aware of my short coming, I refuse to make a change. Putting out the flame in my heart, with my own hands. I’m supposed to be giving it fuel, but instead I choose put it out. It’s not circumstances, it’s not anyone else stopping me, it’s of my own doing, yet I try to find someone or something to blame!

Surah An-Nisa

Whatever of good befalleth thee (O man) it is from Allah, and whatever of ill befalleth thee it is from thyself. We have sent thee (Muhammad) as a messenger unto mankind and Allah is sufficient as Witness. (79) Whoso obeyeth the messenger hath obeyed Allah, and whoso turneth away: We have not sent thee as a warder over them. (80)

What excuse will we present to Allah, on the day when I’ll be called upon to give account of the life he has bestowed me with. And not just a life, a chance to be someone, a chance to do something for the people around me. Speechless, is what I’ll be. Nothing to say for myself. Just shame, and misery. But, this is not what I want!

If I am the same as anyone else on this planet. I am a nobody, because I have nothing to offer to this world. Without me the world will be exactly the same. No better, no worse. So many days spent, and so many resources used, yet gone to waste! Why does anyone invest their time and money on someone or something, so that in time that person or thing will return back in manifold. Am I returning back to the world what it has given me?

Will I ever be the person I want to be? Will I ever dream? Will I wake up one day and know which way to go? I hope so, because without a cause, I can’t see a future. Not in this life or the next!

O Allah! Please grant me a dream! A dream that will make You proud of me! And with that dream the vision to see it as clear as its meant to be seen. And with that dream the strength to live it to the fullest!

O Allah! I beg you for your mercy and forgiveness for the life I have spent in vain! Please grant me a life full of purpose and cause. And grant me eternal victory!

O Allah! Fill my heart and mind with You and You alone! Let the flame in my heart burn strong. And with its warmth change the lives of those around me!



2 Responses to “Dream?”

  1. Kazim Says:

    Really really nice post Ghazi. Really nice. So proud of you =))
    and I feel pretty much the same.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s