You think you’re good? Think again!

July 5, 2010

Selfish, down right selfish! That’s what we are! But it’s not until we experience it ourselves that we know how horrible we are! Double standards, hypocrisy, lying to our own soul!  So full of ourselves that we don’t realise whether we are doing something wrong or not! Even if we do know what we’re doing we don’t think how it will affect the our loved ones!

Today I experienced it myself! I feel as if someone has stuck their hand into my chest and squeezed my heart, squeezed every single drop of blood out of it! Although, I kept calm through out it all, but not expressing yourself doesn’t mean the feeling is absent! I just keep wishing what ever I heard wasn’t true, and that it’s just a thought in my head! Denial is not something I can  accept for myself, because when you take something like this and hide it away, it is sure to come back to haunt you some day!

I wake up in the morning, still half asleep, my mother tells me to drink a glass of water, and with a slight irritation in my tone I say I can’t drink water right after waking up. I am at a traffic light, a beggar comes up to my window, I look away. I get busy with work, look to my watch to see the time, there is still time for prayer, and I tell myself I’ll pray in a while, the time for prayer passes, and I’m still busy doing my work. Every time I do something wrong, not for a second do I realise that I have been hurtful!

When you love someone, and you see them do something wrong it hurts! That heart squeezing feeling, that’s what you feel! But since I’m a hypocrite I go on doing wrong, and hurting my loved ones. I got hurt, because a friend I care for did something wrong. But that love is not even a fraction of what a mother has for her child! My heart was squeezed, I can’t imaging what a parent goes through seeing his or her child do something bad! Allah has the love of 70 mothers!!! I don’t think I have to say anything further!

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